Dear Women, Own Your Own Difference and Make a Bet on Yourself!

It’s well established that when more women sit at decision making tables, better decisions are made. Are women better leaders than men? Of course not. However the traits women bring to leadership equip them to be outstanding leaders.

 
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The fact that countries led by women have, on average, managed this pandemic better than those led by men is evidence of the strengths women leaders bring to decision tables. 

Of course, women are not necessarily better at managing crisis. Correlation does not mean causation. However in a world still dominated by masculine leadership norms, women usually have to perform better to become one. 

This crisis holds a unique opportunity for dismantling some of the traditional barriers that have kept women from rising to top tables.  Seizing them will require courage. Change always does. 

It’s why I’m writing this article. Because the world needs more women stepping into their power and leading the change they want to see.

So to you (I'm assuming you’re a woman, but if not, thank you for being someone who champions them), I invite you to consider how this extraordinary moment in time holds a silent invitation for you to be a more powerful ‘change agent’ in your organization, community and the world. If you’re not sure where to start, here’s five suggestions. 

1- Don’t wait for confidence!

If you’re reading this thinking “Oh, not me, I’m just not that powerful,” then consider that each time you doubt your power, you give power to your doubts. 

Women tend to doubt themselves more and back themselves less than the men. Research has found that women often lag behind men in self-confidence and rate their abilities more harshly. 


So if you’ve been waiting to feel confident before you make a change, take a chance or speak up about an issue weighing you down… stop waiting and start doing.

As Kathy Calvin, former President of the United Nations Foundation, shared with me:

“We women hold ourselves back. We think we aren’t experienced enough, when in fact we are. You have to get yourself out there.”  

Give yourself permission to start before you feel ready, to learn as you go, and to not get it perfectly right, first time, every time.” 

2 - Dare to see yourself as a leader

As the big sister of seven, I was prone to being bossy. Yet I was also highly adept at creating order from chaos. Today, we call that early signs of leadership acumen. Back then, particularly in rural Australia, it never occurred to me that I could be a leader. Not once. The very word only evoked images of middle-aged men in suits. 

From entrepreneurs like Sara Blakely to CEO’s like Indra Nooyi to politicians like Taiwan’s Tsai Ing-wen, women today have a diversity of role models for female leadership.  This is a good thing! Yet women are still less comfortable seeing themselves as leaders than men.  When running my ‘courage building’ leadership programs, I often ask participants to raise their hand if they are a leader. Regardless of position, more male hands will go up than females (who often hesitate to lift their hand half-up, unsure whether they qualify). That inner voice, cynically asking ‘Who are you to be a leader?’  tends to be louder for women. 

Yet for others to see us as a leader we must first see ourselves one.  So visualize yourself as a leader - a change-maker and force for good - and consider how you’d show up differently if you made the self-affirming decision to identify yourself as a leader. Would you walk taller, speak more assertively (less the apologies), hold your head higher, dress in a way that conveyed self-belief? 

Never has there been a more important time to for any of us to decide who we want to be as a leader. So don’t wait for permission or a promotion. Rather act as the leader you want to become. Then be patient as others catch up. They will.

3 - Dial up your daring 

Women enter the workforce brimming with ambition as this study by Bain and Company found. Yet within ten years, many dial down their aspirations as they discover the playing field they’ve entered is tilted against them. Little wonder there’s been an ‘opt out’ revolution.

Leveling that field will require redesigning it in ways that work for women. As this crisis has upended the norms about where and how we work, it’s helped to plug one of the biggest holes in that ‘leaky pipeline’ to the top – a lack of flexibility, particularly in the child rearing years.

So as you look out ten - or twenty - years from now, connect to a vision for your future that excites you, holds meaning and plays to your strengths. Then move toward it, however small your first step. Just don’t exit the field all together.  

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